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“I am the King of all Buff Orpingtons,” says he as he struts around his farm yard, bold and proud.  “I would protect my subjects with my life.”

In reality, he is kind of a “chicken” so to speak.  When trouble threatens, he is generally one of the first to flee the scene.  He has even been known to dart into the garage and hide behind the ladders, while his ladies fend for themselves in the yard.  He generally tolerates the Evil Keeper, as he must perceive her.  She does bring his court food and water, but also, she separated his kingdom with a tall wall that he can see through, but can’t breech.  When his kingdom was divided, the Evil Keeper put him on one side of the wall and left his Queen on the other side.  How cruel could she be?

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“I am the self proclaimed Queen,” says she.  “No one in the kingdom lays such beautiful eggs as I.  When the Evil Keeper erected the wall to divide our kingdom, she placed me in charge of half and my King in charge of the other half.  Though I adore being in charge of all of the other Buff Orpingtons, including those terrible teenagers, who I must spend too much of my time putting in their place, I missed my King.”

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“The Evil Keeper does not realize how sly and cunning I am.  Each day when she would check on us and bring us treats, I would be visiting the other side of the wall with my King.  Some nights I would fly back to bed with my subjects and to torment the teenagers, other nights I would choose to stay in the smaller Palace with King Cogburn and his ladies in waiting.  My behavior baffles the Evil Keeper as she never knows where she may find me or where I may lay my beautiful olive eggs.  Sometimes I hide them from her in odd places.  One night recently, when I decided to spend the night in his half of the kingdom, she grabbed me from my throne, took a sharp implement and sheared my flight feathers from one of my wings.  She is such a horrible keeper.  Then she put me in the castle with my two grown subjects and all of those noisy teenagers.  They are so annoying as their voices change and they are growing so fast that they take up so much more space in the castle.  For the next several days, I was distraught as was my king.  I paced the wall and he crowed until he was nearly voiceless.  He still has 6 subjects to rule, but we want to be together.  When the Evil Keeper isn’t watching us from that lush paradise she considers her domain and won’t share with us, I have been scratching in a soft spot near the wall and finally, yesterday my tunnel was large enough to allow my escape back to my King.  My Buff Orpington subjects are too fat or too stupid to realize that they too can escape.  Last night I was able to rejoin my King.  But alas, the Evil Keeper blocked my tunnel and now I am stuck in the smaller Palace and yard and one of my subjects is studying to be the new Queen of the Castle.  I fear my behaviors may result in my being banned to exile in freezer camp soon.”

What the Queen doesn’t realize, is that as soon as the teenagers are a few weeks older and the Palace hens are exiled, that Cogburn will rejoin his new Queen in the Castle and the Palace will be cleaned and prepared for 15 young subjects destined also for freezer camp.

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